Use small life tests to arrive at the destination of self-mastery

We’ve all been to the grocery store and chances are, you’ve opted for the self-checkout for a quick and easy escape. I mean, you’ve already had enough of people during the process of picking out all your groceries as you strolled through the aisles, right? Many of them stand in the middle of the aisle without regard for others. Some have unruly children who won’t stop whining for that irresistible snack on the shelf that they wanted. And let’s not forget the inconsiderate speed demon who runs out of the aisle cart first without regard for other people who may be walking by. Naturally after all that, self-checkout is a small luxury to refrain from dealing with people any further.

Until another person comes along and ruins that too.

On a recent trip to the grocery store, I went to one of the self-checkout kiosks to ring up my groceries. The end of my cart happened to be slightly in front of the kiosk that was next to mine and yes, it was in the way. As I was finishing up with my payment, a man comes behind me and yanks my cart out of the way so that he could use the self-checkout kiosk that was next to mine. He didn’t say “Excuse me,” or anything. I shot him a look, but he was too busy with initiating his transaction next to me to respond. From the appearance of things, the woman who was with him who was either his girlfriend or wife, seemed to be a bit of a pushover. Of course, I don’t know this for certain, but when I was looking at them, she appeared to be appeasing him by staying quiet and following his lead. He had a scowl of disgust on his face like he didn’t want to be there. It was almost as if the woman knew that if she spoke too much it would set him off somehow.

As I took my receipt out of the machine, I walked behind him and stared menacingly at the back of his head with disgust. If my eyes were lasers that could burn holes, he would’ve been a goner. As I approached the exit door to the grocery store. I immediately remembered a quote that I’d heard a few weeks prior to this incident…

“Be the thermostat, not the thermometer.”

In a nutshell, this quote is using a metaphor to suggest that it is better to set the tone for your own mood rather than to allow another person’s poor behavior to lower your vibration. As I walked out of that store, I decided that I was going to continue to have a positive day regardless of this random person’s lack of manners and consideration.

I placed all my groceries into my car, still slightly bothered by the encounter I had inside the store. As I closed my car door to get ready to push my cart back to the store, I saw a man walking towards the store. As he walked past my car, without hesitation, he asked, “Can I take that back for you?”

Man, what a refreshing moment!

He probably thought that the small favor he offered me was a simple, kind gesture. Little did that gentleman know what just happened to me inside that store. His small, yet kind and thoughtful gesture restored my faith in humanity. To me, this was huge!

In this case, I must give myself some credit though. Imagine if I would have had a scowl on my face while loading the groceries in my car and exuded negative energy in reaction to the other guy’s rude behavior during self-checkout. Maybe the gentleman in the parking lot would have avoided interaction with me and refrained from offering the small favor of pushing my cart back to the store. See, because I checked myself and remembered what kind of day I wanted to have (i.e., being the thermostat), I attracted positive energy from another person. My determination to let the negative energy bounce off of me attracted a positive experience.

There were two important take aways I got from these interactions:

1. Never allow one negative experience to affect those that follow.

Compartmentalization is your friend in life.

The definition of compartmentalization is the division of something into sections or categories. In order to maintain control of your moods, you must master the ability to see every experience as a separate one from the last or the next. Mastering this skill could open new doors to emotional well-being. Yes, the guy in the store was very rude. On the other hand, because I was positive and kind to the man in the parking lot, my encounter with him was positive and uplifting. Never allow negativity to spill over into your bucket of joy.

2. Small life tests serve as important reminders and checkpoints.

The grocery store encounters that I described seem pretty straightforward and maybe they’re simply, good old common sense. Consider this though. Life comes at us fast and because we encounter other people virtually everyday, we are exposed to their unpredictable nature. Since we can’t predict everything that we’ll deal with when facing other people, it can be difficult to do or say the correct things in the heat of the moment.

What if I would have yelled at the man who yanked my cart out of the way? What if I would have called him names and cussed him out? For some, this may have been their first instinct and they would actually act on it. You see, in that moment, they wouldn’t be using their best judgement or common sense to deal with the situation maturely and rationally.

Throughout our lifespan, we have various things that happen. We go through seasons of happiness, joy, pain, indifference…the list goes on. At any given time, we may respond in ways that are not the best because we happen to be in a season of life that isn’t the most ideal. A “small life test” like a stranger being rude in the grocery store gives us opportunities to practice what we should do instead of what we may want to do impulsively. These tests are important and necessary for resilience and self-mastery.

Don’t be the thermometer. There’s no control in that choice and you’ll more than likely regret allowing yourself to be influenced so easily.

Always be the thermostat.